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Spoiled Wall Street devotees are in for a rude awakening at the office

Spoiled Wall Street devotees are in for a rude awakening at the office
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The most pampered generation Wall Street has ever met will soon find out what it means to actually go to work.

That’s the word coming out of the C-suites of the big banks — Morgan Stanley, JP Morgan, and Goldman Sachs. The CEOs of these firms earned their bones in a time when the price of a lucrative career on Wall Street long hung Hours were while you were being yelled at by your boss.

Now her want to turn back the clock — even if it means putting them on the wrong side of the influx of spoiled Millennials and Gen Zers who have had to hire them during the long bull market. They won’t say it publicly, of course, but they do it in secret Welcome the emerging economy and the slowdown in Wall Street business as one way to do this regain control of the awakened masses.

The stock market and deal boom has given incredible leverage to a class of Wall Street employees who have been brainwashed by bright-eyed college professors and administrators into believing that all of their feelings are important and existential, including the desire not to work so hard.

Wall Street despite its Darwinian tail succumb to the pressure, morphed into something of a college safe space because it required entry-level and associate-level boards to handle deals and trades, and faced competition for talent from Big Tech. That meant more perks for the business’ grunts (think things like free peloton in addition to higher wages), flexible hours and the requirement to work from home long after the worst of the COVID pandemic has subsided.

Jamie Dimon has banned remote work at JP Morgan.
Jamie Dimon and his colleagues are reportedly fed up with the new generation of Wall Street.
AFP via Getty Images

It also meant accepting the mores of the new generation, even if it meant less productivity. Wall Street executives used to boast that they slept under their desks in the office when big deals were at stake. Now the climbers are embracing something known as “quiet cessation” where doing the bare minimum is the norm.

How’s that for the Wall Street grunt work?

Poultry roar of the employees

For my money, this indulgent madness reached the pinnacle of absurdity as a bunch of young people Leftist Goldman employees in Manhattan had a meltdown because someone had the audacity to order Chick-fil-A while working late on the deal.

But this wasn’t a fight over the health benefits of the popular chicken sandwich. As it turned out, employees were outraged that the company’s then-CEO believed in Jesus and opposed same-sex marriage. Goldman management conducted an intervention to ensure those with hurt feelings could survive the trauma. (Goldman didn’t ban Chick-fil-A, thank goodness.)

But times seem to be changing again. The boomers who run the big banks – Jamie Dimon at JP Morgan, James Gorman at Morgan Stanley and David Solomon at Goldman – should have enoughI’ve been told, and will use the looming slowdown and recession to show the Young’uns who’s boss.

After power passed to management, Solomon last week began forcing all employees back into the office five days a week after Labor Day, the Post’s Lydia Moynihan was the first to report. A company-wide memo cited a “significantly reduced risk of serious illness,” while a spokeswoman cited the need to maintain the company’s “customer-centric business,” which stands for “getting your butts working because you’re using Zoom.” are less productive”.

Young employees have complained about the harsh working conditions and hours.
Many Goldman Sachs workers have resigned because of working conditions.
SOPA Images/LightRocket via Gett

As I first reported, Morgan Stanley’s HR director released a similar memo around the same time, saying the company was lifting its COVID protocols (i.e. testing and contact tracing) and asking employees to stay away from home due to productivity issues to work out.

JP Morgan’s Dimon isn’t far from making office work mandatory, no matter how much the woke masses complain.

Ironically, it was bright-eyed tech CEOs like Meta’s Mark Zuckerberg and Google’s Sundar Pichai who first began to crack down on teenage angst. They were forced to demand better productivity measures because the economic slowdown hit their wallets first.

Now, as Wall Street braces for a slowdown in deal flow and likely layoffs later in the year, Solomon, Dimon, and Gorman are, and likely will continue to, flex their managerial muscles, in ways that will anger their spoiled masses , who have less and less bargaining power, will complain and force management to back down.

And who knows? Sleeping under the desk could be cool again.

They are reportedly looking forward to a new cultural shift.
Wall Street bosses are reportedly looking forward to cutting some of their employees.
Getty Images

Tell the truth’

There’s a lot of drama surrounding Truth Social, former President Trump’s new social media platform designed to compete with Twitter, including questions about its business model, content and The Donald going nuclear on it, much like he did Twitter used before it banned him.

Another drama likely to play out in the next 24 hours involves the proposed merger with Digital World Acquisition Corp., the special purpose vehicle that is set to merge with the platform and create a publicly traded stock. There is a key Digital World shareholder vote, with a Sept. 6 deadline to extend the deadline for the completion of the merger by 12 months.

Digital World boss Patrick Orlando says the extension will allow the company to sort out everything that’s going on and hopefully return some value to shareholders. Digital World’s stock is down nearly 75% from its March peak of $97.

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